I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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