PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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