you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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