you guys were way drunker than both of me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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