Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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