Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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