i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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