Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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