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gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
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