we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize