Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
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I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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