If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize