Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize