She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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