Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
These tits shall not be calmed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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