Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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