In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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