There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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