and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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