All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize