I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize