Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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