is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
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We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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