I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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