you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize