Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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