dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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