I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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