Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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