The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize