can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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