i may or may not be watching the land before time
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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