Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize