So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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