HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize