If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize