my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize