It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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