is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize