How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Welp...herpes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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