I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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