Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize