What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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