I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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