I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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