I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize