Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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