The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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