He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize