Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize